My Dominance shall prevail

Today I went with the olds to the hospital. It was really good as I got to see some cows outside, got to chat up a few ladies and they had a childrens play area set aside just for me.

While we were there we took a photo of this thing inside mums tummy. I was watching really hard to see how they get the camera inside her....... now I know why people have belly buttons. Anyway this is my brother or sister (apparently). I think it looks more like those ink blot pictures that the shrinks held up to mummy and asked her what she saw.

I will let this thing come into the world but do you think I will let it touch my stuff. This is the picture that they took of me when I was told that I would have to share my things.

I ain't gonna share squat! That little thing can whistle for any of my stuff. I will tear every page from "Fuzzy Yellow Duckling" before I let it get its mitts on my books. I will run the batteries dry on the deedle dudes before it can click its fingers. I will remove the milk from every cow on this planet before I give a single drop away.

Mum has just told me that if I am nice to my new sibling then she will give me a marshmellow. I take back my previous words. I have now wrapped Fuzzy Yellow Duckling in a protective layer of glad wrap and spit, I have two deedle dudes so I have set one aside for my darling brother/sister and I am having some cows milk specially made and put inside mum for the little bugger. To show that I really care I have asked Stephen Hawking to step back from the limelight a little to enable the next member of the Thomas franchise to be able to shine.

Now give me my soft and sweet delight.

Catch ya fools,

Jude The Humble

Time for an update...

Here is Jude looking gorgeous for a close-up shot and also in his new all-in-one jammies from Nana & Poppa D. It is very hard to get good quality photos of Jude looking at the camera or even standing still at the moment.

Jude has had a bit of a bad couple of weeks fighting off bacteria. We blame daycare for all the germs he's picked up - but you get that in the big wide world I guess. He has had ear infections and conjunctivitis this past week but is now all better and sleeping like a... well a baby... I guess.

Jude has learnt how to climb up on the couch now. He likes to sit and watch Shrek or Finding Nemo with Mummy while drinking his milk or having a little snack.

His little brother or sister is cooking along nicely - we have a scan on Monday so Jude may get a chance to "see" his sibling for the first time. Wish us all luck!!!

Kia Ora

Hello all,

I would like to introduce you all to my little friend. The fur pile situated to my right is known as a cat. Normally these four legged creatures hear my coming and make a run for it. This little beauty seemed to like me though. We played together, she would try to play hard to get but would love the rough and tumble once I got her.

I am a very good dancer. My new move is called "The Dervish". I push my arms out and spin round and round like a whirling dervish. The feeling is quite invigourating I assure you.

I don't like Dr Phil. You wait until I find out what his currency is...... I'll take it out of circulation. I mean does he have a first name? Who is he to call himself Dr. He is no more a Doctor than Josef Seuss. Never trust bald old American men that try and stop you living a happy life. I bet he can't even Dervish.

I like Dad more than Mum even though Mum is okay. This is because Dad rules the world and mum only rules the toilet seat.

Jude

Some people say I look like my dad

I am getting sick and tired of people saying that I look like my dad. Here is proof that I look nothing like him.

Praise be to red sausages!

Out.

JT

It's a photo montage!!

I t
I thought it might be nice to give you a montage of Jude's favourite photos seeing as we haven't updated the blog for a while.

So here you go.

Here's Jude at his best - raiding the tupperware/pot cupboard, watching "Babe" with Daddy, posing for the camera with nutella all over his mosh, playing with Nana Vic and nicking stuff from Mum's cupboards (yet again).

Jude had his 15 month vaccinations last Thursday and was a real trooper about it - he cried a little as the needles went in (who wouldn't?) but then was very brave.

Mummy's back is feeling better after she strained it putting Jude in his carseat last Wednesday - so she is back to being able to change nappies etc (damn it all!!) and for those of you who didn't know - Jude is going to have a little brother or sister in January '07 (all going well).

Ta-ta for now

It's raining facecloths - hallelujah!!!

Here I am caught in action flinging facecloths around. Aren't my pjs snazzy?

I went to see the Plunket nurse today. She weighed and measured me. I am apparently "tall and lean" - her words. C'mon Mum - who's child am I really?

I am 83cm tall and weigh in at 11.1kg. I have 12 teeth and am pretty gosh-darned cute to boot.

I had a visit from my Nana & Poppa Dromgool in the weekend and they brought me a blackboard/whiteboard easel - I think it is pretty cool and have drawn many pictures using it. I hope the picture I drew you is on the wall in pride of place Nana & Poppa D - I will be checking next time I visit. I am currently working on my next creation for Nana & Poppa Thomas. It will be a self-portrait.

Well, that's all for now - I'd better climb back into my cot - the olds don't know I can climb out of it yet...

If I could only fit the cat in here

That damn cat!! All I want to do is pat her, cuddle her and show her the love I have for animals. Yes it may come across like I am trying to body slam her and pluck her like the chicken she is but really I just want to express my adoration for her.

When I fianlly catch her I am going to teach her a lesson in respect. This picture shows a little machine that I have found. I have learnt that if I turn it on, it will suck things up and make them disappear. If I seem happy in this picture it is because I am picturing what will happen once I get her tail in here. She will be sucked out of my life once and for all.

Mum is hounding me to put some factual information on here. Okay then how does this suit you:

- Senegal is a West African nation bordered by Guinea-Bissau and Muritania
- Senegal is slightly smaller than South Dakota in terms of land mass
- Senegals terrain is generally low, rolling, plains rising to foothills in southeast
- It is also prone to lowland seasonal flooding and periodic droughts

There you go Mum, I have fulfilled your requirements.

I haven't been up to much recently as it has been too wet outside. Yesterday Mummy pushed me and I hit my head, now I have a big lump on it (how's that for factual). When people blow trapped air from their bottoms it makes a noise. When I hear this noise I look around and 9 times out of 10 I see Mum (more facts).

Daddy has been at home with me for the last three days. He told me that he has the time off work because there is a public holiday for his mums birthday. Dad is cool.

Gotta go clean dads car.

Bye

Jude

Ground Control to Major Tom

Gidday my groupies,

Here is a picture of me designing a new mask for trips into outer space. I was asked to do this by Mr Richard Branson esq. He is a man that I have a great deal of respect for as he has flown in a balloon.

Anyway dad wouldn't buy me all of the equipment that I require so what you see in the picture has been fashioned from a burger rings bag, 6 match sticks, saliva from mongi's tongue and mum's sock. The parental units were amazed at what I did although dad did put a bit of a damper on it all when he suggested that I could just use the tupperware bowl from the cupboard. Well fudge him, doesn't he know that tupperware is affected by minute solar particles that are especially prevelant near Alpha Centuri.

I have been having lots of fun recently. The idea of walking has been a real winner. I love going out to malls now as I can get out of my stroller and chase pretty ladies. I am very good in stores and don't touch anything that I am not allowed to. My favourite store is Whitcoulls at Botany Downs shopping centre. They have got a little play area especially designed for me.

I have also included the following picture to prove that I do not have ginger hair.

As you can all tell, my hair is a fine blonde. The blonde hair of an angel...... at times a misguided angel but an angel none the less. I reckon I look like James Dean here.

The one thing that I long for in this world is a little brother or sister............

J.E.T

I am a dream boat

Hello everybody,

Here I am on a cold winter's day dressed in colour co-ordinated leiderhosen from Gucci kids wear. As you can see I am an absolute dream boat. I am facing some fairly serious issues when we go out now. The female species find me irresistable. They want to shower me with gifts, they swoon, they want to kiss me, they want me to sire their children and quite often they just simply want to get close enough to sniff "eau de Jude". Quite frankly I am sick of it, I just want to hang out with the boys, have a nice quiet ribena and watch the Wiggles.

I have been a very good boy recently. I have found where mummy keeps the tissues so I help her out by grabbing a couple, spitting on them and rubbing dirty surfaces. I do this to keep away the germs. They seem to lurk everywhere. Mum always points out where they are when I go to touch certain things. For example, did you know the toilet has germs, the rubbish bin has germs, girls have germs, Arnold Schwarzenegger has germs and Mr Winky has germs?

Tomorrow I have a busy day planned. I am going to rid the world of "funny" people.

Bye
J.E.T

King of the Dwarves

I noticed that Mummy said that Daddy will probably post a stupid blog. Well I am insulted by this so called mother of mine. It is I who place the good posts on this blog, not some half wit ghost writer answering to the name of Dad. I mean what sort of imbecile has a one syllable name (and before you ask my name is pronounced Jew - Dae, two syllables).

Anyway now onto more serious matters. Many of you would not know this but I am in fact Jude - King of the Dwarves. This photo proves it. Every morning I get a special telecast of my minions sent into me so that I can overview their daily activities. This picture gives you an understanding of my life. I get up and view what the crazy little buggers have been up to. Most days it is normal dwarvish behaviour - being shot from cannons, tossed by Eastern European women and being used as weird footstools. There is only the odd occasion when I have to weild my power due to poor behaviour. I will not stand for dwarves carrying hammers or chasing cars that is just not on.

I have to get off here now as Daddy wants to play games. A small update on my life.... I have successfully grown a rash, no mean feat I tell you. I bet you can't, but that is just because you suck and I rule..... the dwarves.

By all and long live the little people.

J.E.T

Do you like my pozzie?

Here is Jude getting as close as he is allowed to the TV and the heater. No doubt his balloon would have "found" its way between the two forbidden items and so Jude would have just been reclaiming it... yeah right. He also dies his hair ginger for the ladies.

Jude has had tonsillitis for the last week and has been on antibiotics which have resulted in a nasty rash on his upper carcass. The poor little boy is probably teething as well, so was possibly in a fair amount of discomfort. Luckily he is on the mend now and gets to go to daycare again tomorrow for "The Big Play-Time".

Jude has been working hard for the last 14 months and was just able to save enough money for a card featuring an orangutan (why I ask you why?) and a box of Roses chocolates for Mothers Day. He brought them in to Mummy's bedroom himself but refused to hand over the goods.

Jude visited with his Nana & Poppa Dromgool in the weekend and although it was Mummy's birthday, he still managed to steal her thunder and score himself a few pressies. He received some buzzy bee gumboots (perfect for stomping around outside), a beautiful knitted jumper and some other clothing items and a penguin finger puppet.


Uncle Jeremy & Aunty Debs sent Mummy a Little Britain birthday card that "talks". Here is a photo of Jude enjoying the aforementioned card. He will sit there for ages opening and closing it - all Mummy hears is "yeah but no, but yeah but no". He thinks it's wonderful (and Mummy thought it was pretty funny too).

Well that's all for now. No doubt Daddy will be along soon to put some more ridiculous clap-trap on Jude's blog. Please forgive him in advance.

You make me feel like dancin'...

...gonna dance the night away.

Boy that kid sure can trot out some garbage. Can't even talk yet but can type the hind leg off a donkey.

Here is Jude dancing with Great-Nana Baron in the background just enjoying the show. Jude has just learned how to "krump". It's all the rage in the US and I must admit he's pretty good at it. He gets that little booty shakin'!!!

I love Stools

I love my Mummy a lot. I love her because she bought me this table and stool set. As you can see from it's chic lines and kitsch paint work, it is the top of the range K3000 table and stool set. This baby has all the bells and whistles. Daddy doesn't buy me much as he is tighter than a snapper's ....... Daddy just told me that I can't use that word. He is an ..... Daddy just told me that I am not allowed to use that word again.

This table is such fun. I can sit here and draw pictures, play with play doh and just think about how great life is. Like everything though there is a dark side to this deluxe table and stool set. As the hunkahunka burning lurve Margaret Perrin once said "I don't like dark-sided things". From time to time the stool turns on me and the following happens:-

At these times it turns from a wonderful piece of engineering into something spawned from Satan's ......... Daddy reminded me that I am not allowed to say that word again. I had to put $1 in the swear-jar.

Today Mum and Dad took me to see some animals at Butterfly Creek. It was pretty cool. I patted some rabbits, saw some ducks, an alpaca, some Kunekune pigs and some guinea pigs.

I bid you adieu again.

Jude

I like to point

Lets get to the point..... I like to point.

The correct technique for getting the perfect point is shown above. It has taken me several months to get this right but the technique is as follows.... you must raise the thumb, straighten the index finger and make a loose fist with the remaining three fingers. At the same time you have to make a crazy exclaimation such as "aaaahhhhiiiiiaaaaa".
Now you try it.

Nana Thomas you don't quite have it right. Extend the thumb (think about how Hamish Carter would do it)...... there we go, perfect.
Nana Dromgool you are close but you are using the right hand, try again. You are still using the right hand. That's better - pointing is best done with the left hand only.
Great-Poppa Baron you are my idol but really that is a pretty poor attempt. The exclaimation has to be "aaaahhhhiiiiiaaaaa" not "piffle, piffle, piffle".
Uncle Jeremy, let's not even try, you will probably break something!!

Onto another subject now. I have given up crawling, I think that it is a complete waste of my time and energy. My main mode of transport is now something commonly known as "the walk". It is a very efficient and a quick way to get around. I use it to catch the cat unawares, creep up on Mummy and Daddy, fetch the mail in the mornings and mine coal from the tunnel in the back yard.

I am enjoying my daycare on Wednesdays. They feed me lots of food and I get a break from the olds. They can be so overbearing sometimes - don't touch this, stay away from that. Who do they think they are? it's not like I ever asked to be born.

Enough from me, I am going to bed.

JET

Two TV Addicts

Here's Jude and his friend Cameron watching The Muppet Show.

Jude's walking has been really good today - he has pretty much tottered around on his pins all day and is getting steadier and steadier.

He has had a cold every week since starting daycare and now Mummy has caught it too - the joys of public childcare I guess.

Anyway, not much else to report - Jude has been drawing pictures with his new crayons and fell over holding his sippy cup yesterday and cut his eyelid with his fingernail and it's a bit puffy and bruised-looking. I should have taken him to the Ascot Hospital just up the road and maybe we would have seen Keith Richards...

I rule

As I rule and Mummy does not I command you to ignore her comment that instructed you to ignore my last blog.

Power to the gings!!!!

Thomas had been shunting all day

Please disregard the previous post. Jude's father is being a moron.

Here is Jude enjoying his first ride on Thomas the Tank Engine. He had a huge smile on his face the whole time and enjoyed pointing with his finger.

Not much else to report except the walking is coming along nicely - he teeters and totters all over the place. We had a big play-time with Playdoh yesterday - I think Mummy & Daddy had more fun than Jude. We had to fish small pieces of Playdoh from his mouth every now and then, but no casualties were reported.

Jude is off to day-care again today - no doubt there will be finger painting, sandpit playing and NO SLEEPING.

TTFN

Mere Mortals

Hello Mere Mortals,

I have snuck into the computer room whilst mummy and daddy are watching televsion downstairs. I don't know what they are watching, probably something that I am not interested in that appeals to the intellect of a poorly educated snail from Reading.

Anyway I am going to take the oppurtunity to say what I really think. As you can see from this picture I am having a few issues with that stupid table in the middle of our lounge. I am cruising along on my trusty shanks and this thing always gets in the way. I am planning to put all the love letters that mum has written to dad (and there are lots of them) under this cursed hunk of wood and put a flame to it. Today I managed to rub some playdoh into its surface and I smashed the remote control into the top a few times. I think it knows whose bee-atch it is!!

I have had a lot of visitors recently which is good because, quite frankly, my parents are morons. Just this morning Dad asked Mum if she would like a cup of tea. Mum said "yes"...... moron. If you don't understand then you are a Moron too.

I have got a few more words now (I write much better than I speak). Just yesterday I was waving goodbye to cars in a carpark and saying "bye" to all those inside the vehicles. You may wonder why? Well it is all part of my cunning plan to lure Stephen Hawking and Bono into the same room. I am then going to bring one of my big plans to fruition. That is a role swap between the two clowns. Bono will end up as a wisened spectacled fool in an electronic cart and Stephen Hawking will become the preaching front man of a washed up rock band. He will certainly attract the ladies.

Tomorrow I am off to daycare. This is an oppurtunity that I have to grow and develop into an upstanding member of our community. It is really like parliament, I get to scream at other people, get feed four big meals during the day and I get to finger paint. You may question whether they finger paint in parliament...... well next time you see Helen Clark on tele have a look at those claws she calls fingers. Under the nails you will see little bits of play doh and over 14 different shades of water based finger paint.

I am going to sneak back into bed now. It looks like the fools have finished watching tele. Dad will do his usual pre-bed activity of coming to check on me and then tucking me in. Well I better go and pretend I am asleep.

Good bye Mortals.

"Give Me Chocolate or Give Me Death"

Mmmmmm chocolate...

Jude likes Easter. Easter means chocolate and chocolate is gooooood. The photos do not fully illustrate the shaking little hands as he attempted to unwrap the Easter Egg though. Very Uncle Jeremyesque!!

The walking is still happening. It hasn't got any better or more frequent sadly. Who told me that once they took their first steps then it was all go? Well whoever it was - you were wrong.

Jude has had another pre-molar come through - that makes 10 teeth in total now. After all, he needed some extra help to chew up all that chocolate....

Well, we hope you all had a nice Easter break and ate plenty of fattening goodies (for the record - only ONE set of Nanas & Poppas provided an Easter Egg for Jude this year - in fact, ONE set of Nanas & Poppas only bought Jude tomatoes - I mean, what's with that? TOMATOES?????!!!honestly who eats tomatoes??? they are the devil's own food....).

An evil presence lurks...

............................. who is this moustachioed man in the white shirt?

Anyway, enough of that - Jude has been a very naughty boy and has been caught putting weird blogs on this website again. He has forthwith been banned from touching the computer. He has also been sentenced to 9 strokes of the rattan cane.

Right - back to reality. Jude enjoyed his first day of daycare on Wednesday. He came home covered in blue paint and sand. He had had an absolute ball apparently and the ladies all said that he could stay on full-time as he was such an easy-going child. Yeah right. He was so tired (after refusing to have his afternoon nap) that he fell asleep while drinking his milk.

Jude took 4-5 steps yesterday while Mummy was talking on the phone. We have been trying to get him to do it again but alas, he will only do 2-3 steps before tottering over. Still, I am sure he is on the veritable verge of walking and it will only be a matter of days (I realise I have been saying this for the last 6 weeks, but this time I am SURE I am right). Maybe one day he will even walk better than wobbly Nana Robyn?