I am a dream boat

Hello everybody,

Here I am on a cold winter's day dressed in colour co-ordinated leiderhosen from Gucci kids wear. As you can see I am an absolute dream boat. I am facing some fairly serious issues when we go out now. The female species find me irresistable. They want to shower me with gifts, they swoon, they want to kiss me, they want me to sire their children and quite often they just simply want to get close enough to sniff "eau de Jude". Quite frankly I am sick of it, I just want to hang out with the boys, have a nice quiet ribena and watch the Wiggles.

I have been a very good boy recently. I have found where mummy keeps the tissues so I help her out by grabbing a couple, spitting on them and rubbing dirty surfaces. I do this to keep away the germs. They seem to lurk everywhere. Mum always points out where they are when I go to touch certain things. For example, did you know the toilet has germs, the rubbish bin has germs, girls have germs, Arnold Schwarzenegger has germs and Mr Winky has germs?

Tomorrow I have a busy day planned. I am going to rid the world of "funny" people.

Bye
J.E.T