Thomas fanatic

You know you have a problem when the only song you can sing is the Thomas song.

Cheerio

Mum said that Dad always writes stupid things so I have taken over and will now write something serious and you can all see how boring it is to do it this way.

Yesterday I got up and played with my trains, then me and dad went to the shops. I didn't have my afternoon sleep because "I haven't", mum took me to the shops to get a new Thomas DVD (apparently Dad says she can't budget). When we got home I had cheerios for dinner and went straight to bed.

Exciting eh and oh so fun to read.

Merry Crimbo

A shark at rest...

This is what a shark does in his "down-time" ie: when he's having some time off for being a human killing machine - he watches a spot of tele.

And here I am just being cute. See I am wearing my "scuba suit" that Nana Vicki made for me. This scuba suit is necessary to contain the nappy within its recesses. If I am not put to bed with this suit on then little fingers take off the nappy and ALL SORTS of horrors then occur.

Santa Claus is coming to visit me (not Asher though) in less than a week. I can't wait to hear the pitter-patter of reindeer feet on the roof and know he is filling my stocking with Thomas & His Friends!!

Merry Christmas everyone.

Jude over and out.

Jude Irwin - Crocodile Hunter

Hi I'm Jude Irwin.

Here I am hunting for crocs. They are very angry animals as they have an enlarged medula oblongata. This is reallly dangerous folks - don't try this at home!!

You can't see the reptile in this shot as I have already caught it, skinned it and taken it to the taxidermist. I can catch most evil creatures apart from one........ the evil and wily Asher.

This monster is known for its quick wit, speedy movement, scaly skin and its ability to take my most favoured toys. You can often here its call, it sounds like "da, da, da, da" and has an evil laugh.

If you see it can you please let me know where it is? it shall be the next scalp in my trophy cabinet.

Jude "I hate Bindi cause she's ugly" Irwin

Say Icecream

You want a smile for the camera? I willl give you a smile. Just don't steal the I to the C to the E Cream.

I told dad today that he has a bad moustache and I told mummy that she does poos on the tooooooilet.

I like to take my nappy off and find "special" paint. It is a nice brown colour that matches the paint on the wall.

Poo boy out.

An Artsy-Fartsy One...

And here is the final instalment in our family photos from the professionals entitled "Us2 - Boys"

We are family

Look at the picture we had made. 1 skinny little English dude snapped a couple and came up with this. I reckon it is okay - there is probably only one person who could have done better but I guess he is in the picture with his mum, dad and younger brother.

Sit back with a coffee and enjoy our beauty.

Gimp out

The All Blacks are Pants!!

These are our "fake smiles" for the camera. We are showing brotherly solidarity but are none too pleased about the fact the All Blacks let us down YET AGAIN and got booted out of the World Cup.

In fact, Asher was so heartbroken that he ate Joe Rokocoko - you can see Joe's remains around Asher's mosh and on his bib.

Cousin Nerys - we feel your pain.

THE CLAW!!!!

Can you see it? The dreaded crushing crunching CLAW??? I had to barricade myself into the corner cupboard in the kitchen to save myself... luckily I survived to tell the story.

We went to have some family photos taken recently. I haven't seen them yet but Mummy & Daddy tell me I am pretty handsome and the photos are works of art.

I am a big boy now and go No. 1 on the toilet on a regular basis. I use the big toilet and I don't even need the pathetic "kiddie" seat... that's for amateurs. I am yet to squeeze a No. 2 on the porcelain throne but it won't be far away. I will soon be wearing my Thomas undies just like the big kids at daycare (or "Big Plow Plow" as I call it).

Ta-ta for now
Jude

Water-Child

Here I am in the bath with a spiky do, a UFO squirter and a goofy look on my face.

I have a bad case of "purple diarrohea" or should that be verbal diarrohea? I talk talk talk all the time - I ask "who's that guy?" a lot and sing lovely songs and nursery rhymes. My Nana Vic asked Mummy whether she took fish oils when pregnant with me because I am shaping up to be a genius!!!

I love my little brother Asher - we play together quite a bit. I pat him on the head and poke him in the eye from time to time, but Asher likes it.

I now also have a cousin called Nerys way over on the other side of the world - I am looking forward to meeting her via webcam some day soon.

What do I want? I want to go and stay with my Nana & Poppa D this weekend WITHOUT MUMMY AND DADDY for the first time ever. I am such a big boy now that I can do this without it worrying me in the slightest (I hope...) Mummy better remember to pack my trains or there will be trouble.

Spiderman comes in the night

On candystripe legs the spiderman comes softly through the shadow of the evening sun stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead. Looking for the victim shivering in bed, searching out fear in the gathering gloom and suddenly a movement in the corner of the room!

There is nothing I can do when I realize with fright that the SPIDERMAN is having me for dinner tonight!

Sleep Well my Pretties...

I'm a big boy now!!!

Poppa's Brain

Poppa Thomas came to see me the other day. He pulled this thing out of his ear. It is his brain. He didn't seem to change too much once it was removed. I used my Bob hammer and my crushing crunching claws on it then I put it carefully back in. He seemed to work much better after I had tinkered with the shrivelled up membrane.

I added some extra neural pathways into his cerebal cortex and his cerebellum. He can now make reasoned arguments and will be able to control his bladder better. I guess you will no longer struggle to talk your way out of having wet patches in the front of your pants now will you Poppa.

I have also wired him up to give me lollies whenever I say the word Skarloey. Don't give me any of those stink lollies either Poppa, I want Penguin Naturals. If you do not obey I will work on some other areas of your grey matter.

Skarloey
Skarloey
Skarloey
Skarloey
Skarloey

Jude out.

I ate his liver

Nemo was getting a bit lippy so I dealt it to him. Yeah you can see his tail popping out but he can't be saved.

My swim lessons are going really well. I can't kick and paddle like the 18 month old kids but man you should see my bombs. Those little suckers don't even see it coming. I line them up and then ...... damn, just like I have been dropped from the enola gay.

Jude (& Nemo) out

I am a little egg beater

I like the egg beater, especially when it has sugary icing on it.

People have said that licking an egg beater makes you cross-eyed. Personally I don't believe it, there is no proof .

I have been pretty good recently, I now count to 4, do high 5s and can give a bit of skin.

All the chicks love me.

Jude

Can I fix it?

Damn right I can.

Now where did I put my hammer.

Roger - that's a 10-4 Little Fat Buddy

Here I am in my new Red Hawk chopper. I had to go rescue a small fat 4 month old baby who answered to the name"Asher" from the jaws of his exersaucer the other day. He wasn't very grateful.

You can just glimpse Great-Poppa Dick to the left of the photo. He is madly trying to take photos of me with his camera. It's like having my own personal paparazzi (correct term is "Popparazzi" according to Nana Vic).

I am a very good little boy. I rarely have tantrums and those that I do have can be dealt with by giving me treats or "tweats" as I call them. I also respond well to threats of having my trains taken away. I have an affinity for taking my nappy off at the moment. My parents found me lying (bare) bottom up the other night with my nappy and a pool of urine beside me. Lucky for them it was just No. 1!!!! Next time they might not be so lucky...

Anyway, time for me to retire to my boudoir. Take care y'all.

J.E.T

Now I have to share!!!???

As if it isn't bad enough that I am not the sole centre of attention anymore, I now learn that I have to SHARE stuff with my little brother... like photos!! What's with that?

Anyway, here's me and Asher with Nana & Poppa D - I am not amused. Asher looks pretty happy though - probably 'cause he knows he's in MY photo and on MY nana's knee!!

I won't mess with that baby though - have you seen what he's gonna do to cousin Noah?

Ciao for now

Jude

Some People Sleep Funny

You have got to be really careful these days. My brother tries to steal my things.... especially my piddow (pillow for those who don't speak Jude).

I found that the best way to protect it is to sleep like this and have baby Tad keep watch.

That damn baby Tad, why is he always smiling? Some sort of deviant I reckon. You slap him in the guts and he replies with "thats the red button". I know it is the red button, you know it is the red buttton, for goodness sake even Helen Clarke knows it is the red button. I have to slap him around a bit.

Dad is taking me to swim lessons for the first time tomorrow. I reckon he will drown. I worked it out, he is heavier than water therefore when he hops into the pool he will sink and I will have to save him.... again. I saved him the other day from a mosquito, I slapped him on the back of the head trying to get it. You know what he did to thank me. He put me on the ole naughty step. I am becoming quite friendly with that step.

I can count to 4. Thats right, I am now more intelligent than Nana Thomas.

Adios fools.

Ohhhh I love a good thriller...

I've given up sleeping in my "single work-bench" bed - I much prefer Mum and Dad's Queen sized bed... as you can see I also prefer reading Dad's books to my childish ones. Bad Jelly the Witch? Huh!!

I am off to see aeroplanes today at the airport. I hear that my Uncle Nick is going away for a long long time on one - I will be taller than him when he get's back!

And here I am playing feverishly with my new wooden train set. I like to make the trains "CRASH!!!". I went around to my friend Cameron's place the other day and he had a cool Thomas train set - I played so hard with that train set that first my cheeks went a bit pink and then my whole head became bright red. Dad called me "saveloy-head" and I got browned out.

Well that's about it from me - Bye for now.

J.E.T

You're Beautiful

I thought it was about time we had just a lovely photo of Jude to remind you what great genes have gone in to making such a beautiful boy.

And yes, that IS a Thomas T-shirt he has on AND yes, that IS a Thomas train he has in his hand...

TTTEA

That's right folks - I need help in the form of rehab... Thomas The Tank Engines Anonymous (TTTEA) in actual fact.

I am obsessed with Thomas - I must be playing with Thomas duplo while watching Thomas DVDs while reading Thomas books.

I know the names of all the engines and can be heard having conversations with my (imaginary) Toot Toot friends in the middle of the night.

Please donate your gold coins to this worthy cause.

The Welsh Dragon

Fly my pretties.

The Order of the Dracul... the Dragon. An ancient society - pledging my forefathers to defend the faith against all enemies of Thomas.

This is no laughing matter! We Draculs have a right to be proud!

I am the last of my kind.

Feel the wind beneath my wings as I rain fire and brimstone down upon thee. Jude the dragon is about.

See you soon mere mortals.

As I live and breathe - it's Jaws!!!

Happy Birthday to me!! I am now 2 years old and don't I look just the cutest in my new shark suit? Dad didn't want me to have it but even he couldn't resist smiling (or smirking) when he saw me in my costume.

Here's a photo of my "toot toot" cake - Mum's quite proud of herself for making it from scratch, so I thought I'd better put a photo on here - it even tasted quite nice. Thanks Mum.


I had a great birthday party - I had heaps of guests and they all brought me wonderful pressies - I got:-

Dragon's tail that roars
Shark suit
Trike
Books
Clothes
Gumboots
Shoes
Giant Truck (to put "Rabbie" in)
Bob the Builder toolbelt
Money

So I've been very lucky.

My Nana & Poppa D took me to see Thomas in the flesh today out at Glenbrook. I went for a ride on a train and had lots of sugar. I drank a "fluffy" like a grown up from a cup and saucer.

So thanks to everyone for attending my Birthday - see you next year!!

Judabil Lecter

A census taker tried to test me once - I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti (slurp!).

If you don't get me a good present you will be next.

CYFS

Please don't report Mum and Dad to CYFS, I like the taste and apparently if I am taken off them I will be given to responsible parents who won't let me near the Amber Juice.

There is nothing quite like a nice cold one on a hot day after chasing evil babies.

The Jude

Hern the Hunter

I couldn't resist putting this photo on here as I think it's hilarious. I am still laughing as I type.

Jude (or Hern if you prefer) is being conned into having vegies again via the smoothie.

To counter-act the goodness of the vegies - Jude went to Burger King the other day, ate a whole cheeseburger and scored these cool antlers. He also found someone's smelly old socks in the play area.

Bye for now.

Don't mess with the man

Don't mess with the cool guy - I will bust a cap in your A if you go around 'dissing me. Whaddup dog?


I've been hunting cong all day, but the little buggers keep hiding in their paddys.


My first lieutenant and I are sitting at our post and examining the terrain for any little noodle eaters. I've given up on my b though as she is blind and wouldn't be able to spot a gook from 40 yards.

I will just consult my CCTV.

Sleep well - Jude is on the job.

Jude out.

What a Smoothie!!!

One way to get a kid to eat vegies is to disguise them in a delicious fruity smoothie.

The smoothie is then smeared across the mosh and cries of "more more" become commonplace... now if only Mummy could buy the frozen berries we'd be in business.

Judanaphobia

Have you heard of Judanaphobia?

The Oxford dictionary lists it as such:

Judanaphobia (n), (jude-a-na-fo-bee-a) - The extreme fear that somewhere somehow a Jude is watching you.

Thats right I am watching all of you. You have nowhere to hide as I am omnipresent (for you lower order idiots out there, yes you Uncle Jason, that means I see everything).

Nana Robby stop staring at that picture of Hamish Carter.

Nana Vic stop staring at that picture of me.

Uncle Jason stop playing with it, I have read that if you play with it too often then it falls off. You don't want to be left with one nut and nothing else below do you?

Uncle Jeremy put down that beer as it is making Aunty Deb froth at the mouth.

Asher just stop.

The rest of you get off your lazy butts and start making me something. To help you in your decision making of what to build me you have the choice of:

a) A train

or

b) A boat

Hop to it (please do not make idols of me as you will be struck down).

Jude The mighty

Let me at 'im

This is a nice family shot isn't it. Just me, Dad and.......him. I like him and then I hate him, I like him and then I hate him and so on.

The problem I have is that Mum and Dad have worked out my cunning plan on how to get to him. I come up and kiss him and pat him and nestle into him and then I unleash the rage. However mum and dad have worked out my attack strategy and move me away before the grande finale of my attack.

I do mostly like him. I mimic the noises he makes, I have heard bird watchers do this. Apparently it lures your unsuspecting prey in. This has not yet worked but I am sure it will.

Enough about him, more about me. I played with Cameron the other day. We sat in the sandpit and threw sand all over each other it was a veritable sand fest.

I have also been learnng to control my so called "Thomas Rage". If that little bugger would only stay on his tracks like a good engine then he would not have to be punished!!! If you see a blue streak flying past your face then you know Thomas has not been playing by the rules and has been taught a lesson he will never forget. Thomas is of course blue....... so is Percy...... so is Toby and so is Poppas silver car.

I have noticed the dreadful lack of pronunciation in this world so here is a lesson for you all:

Strawberry - Correct pronounciation....... Boycey

Chocolate - Correct pronounciation ........ Cockolate

Thomas - Correct pronounciation ....... Toot toot

Shark - Correct pronounciation ....... Bruce Shark

Get it right or else.

Bye

JET

Writings on new arrivals and world peace

Well he finally came. I have waited patiently for 9 months and yesterday he arrived home. He is actually quite cool, I just want to eat him!!! Mum did a pretty good job cooking him in her tummy. He looks kind of like me which is excellent as I was scared that he would look like Stephen Hawking. I have decided that I will teach him lots of things. I will start with the most enjoyable aspects of life and teach them in order of most enjoyable downwards:

1) How to beat up Shrek
2) The joys of watching sharks
3) How to do a big satisfying poo in the bath before the olds can get me out

World peace is dumb, but I like doves.

J.E.T

The Stork is arriving 1 week early

I am in shock - I have just been told that my little brother is arriving a week early - TOMORROW, 11th January 2007!!!

Mummy & Daddy have to leave very early tomorrow morning to go to the Hospital and I guess the Stork will be going there to give them my brother.

I am going to hang out with Nana & Poppa D for the day and then go and meet him in the afternoon.

I better get myself ready to meet him... does my hair look OK like this? Is my face clean?