Some People Sleep Funny

You have got to be really careful these days. My brother tries to steal my things.... especially my piddow (pillow for those who don't speak Jude).

I found that the best way to protect it is to sleep like this and have baby Tad keep watch.

That damn baby Tad, why is he always smiling? Some sort of deviant I reckon. You slap him in the guts and he replies with "thats the red button". I know it is the red button, you know it is the red buttton, for goodness sake even Helen Clarke knows it is the red button. I have to slap him around a bit.

Dad is taking me to swim lessons for the first time tomorrow. I reckon he will drown. I worked it out, he is heavier than water therefore when he hops into the pool he will sink and I will have to save him.... again. I saved him the other day from a mosquito, I slapped him on the back of the head trying to get it. You know what he did to thank me. He put me on the ole naughty step. I am becoming quite friendly with that step.

I can count to 4. Thats right, I am now more intelligent than Nana Thomas.

Adios fools.

Ohhhh I love a good thriller...

I've given up sleeping in my "single work-bench" bed - I much prefer Mum and Dad's Queen sized bed... as you can see I also prefer reading Dad's books to my childish ones. Bad Jelly the Witch? Huh!!

I am off to see aeroplanes today at the airport. I hear that my Uncle Nick is going away for a long long time on one - I will be taller than him when he get's back!

And here I am playing feverishly with my new wooden train set. I like to make the trains "CRASH!!!". I went around to my friend Cameron's place the other day and he had a cool Thomas train set - I played so hard with that train set that first my cheeks went a bit pink and then my whole head became bright red. Dad called me "saveloy-head" and I got browned out.

Well that's about it from me - Bye for now.

J.E.T

You're Beautiful

I thought it was about time we had just a lovely photo of Jude to remind you what great genes have gone in to making such a beautiful boy.

And yes, that IS a Thomas T-shirt he has on AND yes, that IS a Thomas train he has in his hand...

TTTEA

That's right folks - I need help in the form of rehab... Thomas The Tank Engines Anonymous (TTTEA) in actual fact.

I am obsessed with Thomas - I must be playing with Thomas duplo while watching Thomas DVDs while reading Thomas books.

I know the names of all the engines and can be heard having conversations with my (imaginary) Toot Toot friends in the middle of the night.

Please donate your gold coins to this worthy cause.

The Welsh Dragon

Fly my pretties.

The Order of the Dracul... the Dragon. An ancient society - pledging my forefathers to defend the faith against all enemies of Thomas.

This is no laughing matter! We Draculs have a right to be proud!

I am the last of my kind.

Feel the wind beneath my wings as I rain fire and brimstone down upon thee. Jude the dragon is about.

See you soon mere mortals.

As I live and breathe - it's Jaws!!!

Happy Birthday to me!! I am now 2 years old and don't I look just the cutest in my new shark suit? Dad didn't want me to have it but even he couldn't resist smiling (or smirking) when he saw me in my costume.

Here's a photo of my "toot toot" cake - Mum's quite proud of herself for making it from scratch, so I thought I'd better put a photo on here - it even tasted quite nice. Thanks Mum.


I had a great birthday party - I had heaps of guests and they all brought me wonderful pressies - I got:-

Dragon's tail that roars
Shark suit
Trike
Books
Clothes
Gumboots
Shoes
Giant Truck (to put "Rabbie" in)
Bob the Builder toolbelt
Money

So I've been very lucky.

My Nana & Poppa D took me to see Thomas in the flesh today out at Glenbrook. I went for a ride on a train and had lots of sugar. I drank a "fluffy" like a grown up from a cup and saucer.

So thanks to everyone for attending my Birthday - see you next year!!

Judabil Lecter

A census taker tried to test me once - I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti (slurp!).

If you don't get me a good present you will be next.

CYFS

Please don't report Mum and Dad to CYFS, I like the taste and apparently if I am taken off them I will be given to responsible parents who won't let me near the Amber Juice.

There is nothing quite like a nice cold one on a hot day after chasing evil babies.

The Jude

Hern the Hunter

I couldn't resist putting this photo on here as I think it's hilarious. I am still laughing as I type.

Jude (or Hern if you prefer) is being conned into having vegies again via the smoothie.

To counter-act the goodness of the vegies - Jude went to Burger King the other day, ate a whole cheeseburger and scored these cool antlers. He also found someone's smelly old socks in the play area.

Bye for now.

Don't mess with the man

Don't mess with the cool guy - I will bust a cap in your A if you go around 'dissing me. Whaddup dog?


I've been hunting cong all day, but the little buggers keep hiding in their paddys.


My first lieutenant and I are sitting at our post and examining the terrain for any little noodle eaters. I've given up on my b though as she is blind and wouldn't be able to spot a gook from 40 yards.

I will just consult my CCTV.

Sleep well - Jude is on the job.

Jude out.

What a Smoothie!!!

One way to get a kid to eat vegies is to disguise them in a delicious fruity smoothie.

The smoothie is then smeared across the mosh and cries of "more more" become commonplace... now if only Mummy could buy the frozen berries we'd be in business.

Judanaphobia

Have you heard of Judanaphobia?

The Oxford dictionary lists it as such:

Judanaphobia (n), (jude-a-na-fo-bee-a) - The extreme fear that somewhere somehow a Jude is watching you.

Thats right I am watching all of you. You have nowhere to hide as I am omnipresent (for you lower order idiots out there, yes you Uncle Jason, that means I see everything).

Nana Robby stop staring at that picture of Hamish Carter.

Nana Vic stop staring at that picture of me.

Uncle Jason stop playing with it, I have read that if you play with it too often then it falls off. You don't want to be left with one nut and nothing else below do you?

Uncle Jeremy put down that beer as it is making Aunty Deb froth at the mouth.

Asher just stop.

The rest of you get off your lazy butts and start making me something. To help you in your decision making of what to build me you have the choice of:

a) A train

or

b) A boat

Hop to it (please do not make idols of me as you will be struck down).

Jude The mighty

Let me at 'im

This is a nice family shot isn't it. Just me, Dad and.......him. I like him and then I hate him, I like him and then I hate him and so on.

The problem I have is that Mum and Dad have worked out my cunning plan on how to get to him. I come up and kiss him and pat him and nestle into him and then I unleash the rage. However mum and dad have worked out my attack strategy and move me away before the grande finale of my attack.

I do mostly like him. I mimic the noises he makes, I have heard bird watchers do this. Apparently it lures your unsuspecting prey in. This has not yet worked but I am sure it will.

Enough about him, more about me. I played with Cameron the other day. We sat in the sandpit and threw sand all over each other it was a veritable sand fest.

I have also been learnng to control my so called "Thomas Rage". If that little bugger would only stay on his tracks like a good engine then he would not have to be punished!!! If you see a blue streak flying past your face then you know Thomas has not been playing by the rules and has been taught a lesson he will never forget. Thomas is of course blue....... so is Percy...... so is Toby and so is Poppas silver car.

I have noticed the dreadful lack of pronunciation in this world so here is a lesson for you all:

Strawberry - Correct pronounciation....... Boycey

Chocolate - Correct pronounciation ........ Cockolate

Thomas - Correct pronounciation ....... Toot toot

Shark - Correct pronounciation ....... Bruce Shark

Get it right or else.

Bye

JET

Writings on new arrivals and world peace

Well he finally came. I have waited patiently for 9 months and yesterday he arrived home. He is actually quite cool, I just want to eat him!!! Mum did a pretty good job cooking him in her tummy. He looks kind of like me which is excellent as I was scared that he would look like Stephen Hawking. I have decided that I will teach him lots of things. I will start with the most enjoyable aspects of life and teach them in order of most enjoyable downwards:

1) How to beat up Shrek
2) The joys of watching sharks
3) How to do a big satisfying poo in the bath before the olds can get me out

World peace is dumb, but I like doves.

J.E.T

The Stork is arriving 1 week early

I am in shock - I have just been told that my little brother is arriving a week early - TOMORROW, 11th January 2007!!!

Mummy & Daddy have to leave very early tomorrow morning to go to the Hospital and I guess the Stork will be going there to give them my brother.

I am going to hang out with Nana & Poppa D for the day and then go and meet him in the afternoon.

I better get myself ready to meet him... does my hair look OK like this? Is my face clean?

Happy New Year to One & All

Daddy, Mummy & I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish you all a very Happy New Year where-ever you may be. May 2007 be a fantastic year for everyone.

I apologise for my father's facial expression in the photo - he looks a little sinister. I, however, have put on my most cherubic face and am saying "cheese" for the camera.

Unfortunately, there wasn't a decent photo of Mummy to put on here as she is now the size of a whale and likes to hide from the camera.

The Evil Eye

Enough said.

X-Mas Time

Well I was so good this year that Santa came 3 times to see me. Here is a small picture diary:-

Saturday 23rd. Mum's clan at our Gaff.

This is me with my first present. I didn't want to spoil the fun too much so I just peeked in the end. This was a Winne the Pooh bubble blower. Pretty cool but boy there was so much more to follow.

This is Nana Vic handing over a parcel which was so rightfully mine. This was a Thomas toy. I love it...... and then I hate it..... then I love it again ....... then I hate it.... at the moment I love it. This photo may make it look like Nana has long pendulous boozies, this isn't true, I have seen them, they make me laugh.

Here I am sitting amongst my many presents. I am reading Dad the gingerbread man (no Uncle Jason not the gingerhaired man). This was a present from Uncle Nick and Aunty Sarah. Nana Vic and Aunty Sarah think that this is an amusing story. I tell you what, it is not such an amusing end for Mr Gingerbread Man.

Sunday 24th, Dad's inventors arrived to hand over my possessions.

They bought me several presents. I can tell you that everything looks very happy in this picture however seconds later this turned into "when good balloons go bad". Dad and Pop Art had forgotten to tie off the bottom of their balloons and the evil buggers chased me around the room screaming at me and releasing Poppa's stinky breath into the air. Luckily I got a plastic boat to make up for the demon-possessed balloons.

Pop Art said that all he wanted for Christmas was to find his missing hair. We searched and searched but we couldn't find it anywhere. Pop said not to worry too much, he is trying to bring "the monk" hairstyle back into fashion anyway.

Monday 25th, X-mas with the olds.

I got some pretty cool things from Santa this morning. This is one of two sets of Thomas the Tank Engine Duplo. Mum said "more bloody Thomas". I was a bit scared that Thomas had been cut but I looked and Mum must have been wrong. Thank you Uncle Jeremy and Aunty Debs for your Duplo contribution and thank you to Santa for yours. Mum and Dad were too cheap to get me any.

Here I am in the piece de resistance from today. My castle tent. I run in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out, run in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out, run in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out, run in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out. I hope you get the point. I told everyone that it is cool.

So roughly this x-mas I got lots of Thomas, some clothes, some bath toys, some books, a cheque, a magna doodle, a portable new house and a pig. Thank you to everyone.

Was I happy about my haul or what?

You be the judge.

Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle all the Way!!

Greetings & Salutations Family & Fans,

I would like to take this opportunity to ask that you not 'dis (or "disrespect" if you will) MY big Christmas day this coming Saturday. You have all been cordially invited to a BBQ lunch at the Old's place and I wish to ensure that you are intending to bring me plenty of presents and toklat. I will have my hair done in a similar style to that in the photo above in honour of the big day.

I had a lovely holiday recently with my Nana Vic and Poppa Noel. They took me all manner of places such as The Lake, visiting old folk, into the big smoke to have lunch and watch Mummy's toe-talons being chiseled and polished etc.

Here are a couple of photos of my exploits with Nana Vic, Poppa Noel and Weyland the cat (I don't think she is actually enjoying my cuddles as can be seen from her claw clutching the side of the footstool - but what the hey...):-



Santa Claus is coming to visit me on Sunday night. We don't have a chimney for him to come down but Dad tells me that he will be able to come through the cat flap no worries. I am hoping Santa will bring me some boungas (balloons for those of you who aren't in the know).

Well, I may be a very busy baby in the next few days so in case I don't get to come back online and do another blog - I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New year (and so does Mummy & Daddy).

Byeeeeee
Jude Edwin Toot-Toot
(The soon to be big brother of the baby in Mummy's tummy)
xxx

Would you like some of my biscuit?

Well a big tooooot tooooot to all my fans out there.

How about that John Key eh, took me ole' buddy Don Brash's job. Well I say toot toot to you John, good on ya and I hope you do a Percy good job.

Did you all know that the other day Thomas had to take off to pick up a special package. Turned out it was a dragon but don't be scared it was only a paper dragon (I feel your anxiety but it really was only a paper dragon, I was a little frightened at first too).

I heard in the news last night that Rotorua was flooded. I blame Gordon and his grumpy ways. Apparently Nanna & Poppa Thomas are quite safe from the water so a big peep peep goes out to all the survivors in stinky town.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh no, oh no, oh no. It's raining outside.

I was out yesterday and saw Bertie the Bus. I shouted out to him but he just kept driving. Bye bus, bye bus.

Santa comes soon. Dad reckons that Santa is a fool just like Fat Uncle Jason. Well toot toot to you dad, I want my presents.

Adios clowns.

Jude the Express Thomas