I am a rockstar

Hi Everyone,

This is me trying out for Supernova. I don't really want to as they are a bunch of punks, but after watching a few episodes I realised that I am way better than any of those other amateurs.

When I get selected I don't know how I will break it to the olds. I think I will just be straight up and let them know that I will be starting a life of excess as a rocker..... yes thats right, straight Coke, chocolate bars and lots of pretty ladies.

I went looking for my first bed today. I am sick of being behind bars so I am going to get a mini-version of mum and dads bed. I couldn't make my mind up so I didn't get one.

Anyway I will leave you with some of the lyrics to my new song:

"Doiii doi doi doi doi doi doi doi, nack nack nack"

JET

I'm a model - ya know what I mean?

This is one of Jude's favourite poses from his "portfolio". Don't you think he will make a fantastic male model?

Jude enjoys making animal noises - he can imitate quite realistically the sounds that cows, sheep, monkeys, snakes and bees make.

Jude displayed some new dance moves today - he performed what we affectionaly call the "Chuck Berry Leg Flick". All he needs is a little guitar and we'll be seeing him on "Rock Star: Depeche Mode Mark II".

Was there any doubt?

Some would argue that this is not the best place to watch television from but I must disagree.

From this angle you get an unobstructed view of the old goggle box, 360 degree panorama of the lounge and from here I can keep an eye out for that dastardly cat.

There has also been some debate recently as to who writes these posts for me. There are obviously two styles of writer on here.

So I must confess to some Mill Vanilli type of activity in my forum. Yes there are two different writers. My mum writes the boring blog's, she writes about all the stuff that I have actually been doing. Since I lead such a mundane existence the posts that she writes are quite dull.

The other person who writes is me. Thats right I am the other author and it is all my own work. I mean who else is fiendish of claw, horrid of paw, the most scary, the most frightening of all, Scarface claw. (Okay I steal a little bit from Lynley Dodd).

I have taken a vote and the results are overwhelming, the citizens of the world prefer my blog postings more than Mums. I will continue to detail my exploits here.

As the late great Enos said......."10-4, over and out".

Jude

HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY NANA VICKI!!!

Hi everyone,

This is me with my Nana Vicki on her birthday yesterday. We went to a restaurant and I was very well behaved.

I wandered around and splashed in the indoor puddles. Then I sat in my highchair and ate huge amounts of food. I drank grape juice until I had a little pink moustache.

I hope Nana Vicki had a good day, because I sure did!!



In this photo, I am giving Nana my present that I bought with my pocket money. It was a lovely heart shaped music box for her dressing table. I got it from the $2 Shop. It had an extra special gift of sultanas in it that I wasn't ready to give up. I ate the sultanas.

Bye for now
Jude

Sleepless in Rotorua (by Jude)

Here is another photo montage of myself on holiday. Mum and Dad took me to Hamilton overnight and then down to Rotorua to visit my Nana & Poppa Thomas for a long weekend.

The top two photos depict moi with Nana Robby (giving her a little cuddle) and also at the playground down at Rotorua lake. I fed the swans and geese but got a little too close to jumping into the water for my parents liking!! I also ran up to a few families having picnics on the grass and attempted to steal their food.

The bottom two photos are at Nana & Poppa Dromgool's gaff - I'm in the bath and feeding Great Poppa Baron a drinks coaster. He appears to think it is yummy.

It is Nana Vicki's 50th birthday on Sunday and I have bought her a very special present with my pocket money. I hope she likes it. I won't let Mum wrap it up yet as I want to play with it until Sunday.

A little more about me:-

I am 17 months old and have blondie/brown fluffy hair. From the photos you can see how cute I am. I like kissing girls and shoulder-barging boys (especially cousin Noah). I can say lots of words including "flower", "fire" and "no no no". I enjoy dancing to rock n roll - when Mum plays Baba O'Riley by The Who for me, I headbang. I also twirl around and run on the spot to music.

That's about all from me for now - auf weidersehn pets.

My Dominance shall prevail

Today I went with the olds to the hospital. It was really good as I got to see some cows outside, got to chat up a few ladies and they had a childrens play area set aside just for me.

While we were there we took a photo of this thing inside mums tummy. I was watching really hard to see how they get the camera inside her....... now I know why people have belly buttons. Anyway this is my brother or sister (apparently). I think it looks more like those ink blot pictures that the shrinks held up to mummy and asked her what she saw.

I will let this thing come into the world but do you think I will let it touch my stuff. This is the picture that they took of me when I was told that I would have to share my things.

I ain't gonna share squat! That little thing can whistle for any of my stuff. I will tear every page from "Fuzzy Yellow Duckling" before I let it get its mitts on my books. I will run the batteries dry on the deedle dudes before it can click its fingers. I will remove the milk from every cow on this planet before I give a single drop away.

Mum has just told me that if I am nice to my new sibling then she will give me a marshmellow. I take back my previous words. I have now wrapped Fuzzy Yellow Duckling in a protective layer of glad wrap and spit, I have two deedle dudes so I have set one aside for my darling brother/sister and I am having some cows milk specially made and put inside mum for the little bugger. To show that I really care I have asked Stephen Hawking to step back from the limelight a little to enable the next member of the Thomas franchise to be able to shine.

Now give me my soft and sweet delight.

Catch ya fools,

Jude The Humble

Time for an update...

Here is Jude looking gorgeous for a close-up shot and also in his new all-in-one jammies from Nana & Poppa D. It is very hard to get good quality photos of Jude looking at the camera or even standing still at the moment.

Jude has had a bit of a bad couple of weeks fighting off bacteria. We blame daycare for all the germs he's picked up - but you get that in the big wide world I guess. He has had ear infections and conjunctivitis this past week but is now all better and sleeping like a... well a baby... I guess.

Jude has learnt how to climb up on the couch now. He likes to sit and watch Shrek or Finding Nemo with Mummy while drinking his milk or having a little snack.

His little brother or sister is cooking along nicely - we have a scan on Monday so Jude may get a chance to "see" his sibling for the first time. Wish us all luck!!!

Kia Ora

Hello all,

I would like to introduce you all to my little friend. The fur pile situated to my right is known as a cat. Normally these four legged creatures hear my coming and make a run for it. This little beauty seemed to like me though. We played together, she would try to play hard to get but would love the rough and tumble once I got her.

I am a very good dancer. My new move is called "The Dervish". I push my arms out and spin round and round like a whirling dervish. The feeling is quite invigourating I assure you.

I don't like Dr Phil. You wait until I find out what his currency is...... I'll take it out of circulation. I mean does he have a first name? Who is he to call himself Dr. He is no more a Doctor than Josef Seuss. Never trust bald old American men that try and stop you living a happy life. I bet he can't even Dervish.

I like Dad more than Mum even though Mum is okay. This is because Dad rules the world and mum only rules the toilet seat.

Jude

Some people say I look like my dad

I am getting sick and tired of people saying that I look like my dad. Here is proof that I look nothing like him.

Praise be to red sausages!

Out.

JT

It's a photo montage!!

I t
I thought it might be nice to give you a montage of Jude's favourite photos seeing as we haven't updated the blog for a while.

So here you go.

Here's Jude at his best - raiding the tupperware/pot cupboard, watching "Babe" with Daddy, posing for the camera with nutella all over his mosh, playing with Nana Vic and nicking stuff from Mum's cupboards (yet again).

Jude had his 15 month vaccinations last Thursday and was a real trooper about it - he cried a little as the needles went in (who wouldn't?) but then was very brave.

Mummy's back is feeling better after she strained it putting Jude in his carseat last Wednesday - so she is back to being able to change nappies etc (damn it all!!) and for those of you who didn't know - Jude is going to have a little brother or sister in January '07 (all going well).

Ta-ta for now

It's raining facecloths - hallelujah!!!

Here I am caught in action flinging facecloths around. Aren't my pjs snazzy?

I went to see the Plunket nurse today. She weighed and measured me. I am apparently "tall and lean" - her words. C'mon Mum - who's child am I really?

I am 83cm tall and weigh in at 11.1kg. I have 12 teeth and am pretty gosh-darned cute to boot.

I had a visit from my Nana & Poppa Dromgool in the weekend and they brought me a blackboard/whiteboard easel - I think it is pretty cool and have drawn many pictures using it. I hope the picture I drew you is on the wall in pride of place Nana & Poppa D - I will be checking next time I visit. I am currently working on my next creation for Nana & Poppa Thomas. It will be a self-portrait.

Well, that's all for now - I'd better climb back into my cot - the olds don't know I can climb out of it yet...

If I could only fit the cat in here

That damn cat!! All I want to do is pat her, cuddle her and show her the love I have for animals. Yes it may come across like I am trying to body slam her and pluck her like the chicken she is but really I just want to express my adoration for her.

When I fianlly catch her I am going to teach her a lesson in respect. This picture shows a little machine that I have found. I have learnt that if I turn it on, it will suck things up and make them disappear. If I seem happy in this picture it is because I am picturing what will happen once I get her tail in here. She will be sucked out of my life once and for all.

Mum is hounding me to put some factual information on here. Okay then how does this suit you:

- Senegal is a West African nation bordered by Guinea-Bissau and Muritania
- Senegal is slightly smaller than South Dakota in terms of land mass
- Senegals terrain is generally low, rolling, plains rising to foothills in southeast
- It is also prone to lowland seasonal flooding and periodic droughts

There you go Mum, I have fulfilled your requirements.

I haven't been up to much recently as it has been too wet outside. Yesterday Mummy pushed me and I hit my head, now I have a big lump on it (how's that for factual). When people blow trapped air from their bottoms it makes a noise. When I hear this noise I look around and 9 times out of 10 I see Mum (more facts).

Daddy has been at home with me for the last three days. He told me that he has the time off work because there is a public holiday for his mums birthday. Dad is cool.

Gotta go clean dads car.

Bye

Jude

Ground Control to Major Tom

Gidday my groupies,

Here is a picture of me designing a new mask for trips into outer space. I was asked to do this by Mr Richard Branson esq. He is a man that I have a great deal of respect for as he has flown in a balloon.

Anyway dad wouldn't buy me all of the equipment that I require so what you see in the picture has been fashioned from a burger rings bag, 6 match sticks, saliva from mongi's tongue and mum's sock. The parental units were amazed at what I did although dad did put a bit of a damper on it all when he suggested that I could just use the tupperware bowl from the cupboard. Well fudge him, doesn't he know that tupperware is affected by minute solar particles that are especially prevelant near Alpha Centuri.

I have been having lots of fun recently. The idea of walking has been a real winner. I love going out to malls now as I can get out of my stroller and chase pretty ladies. I am very good in stores and don't touch anything that I am not allowed to. My favourite store is Whitcoulls at Botany Downs shopping centre. They have got a little play area especially designed for me.

I have also included the following picture to prove that I do not have ginger hair.

As you can all tell, my hair is a fine blonde. The blonde hair of an angel...... at times a misguided angel but an angel none the less. I reckon I look like James Dean here.

The one thing that I long for in this world is a little brother or sister............

J.E.T

I am a dream boat

Hello everybody,

Here I am on a cold winter's day dressed in colour co-ordinated leiderhosen from Gucci kids wear. As you can see I am an absolute dream boat. I am facing some fairly serious issues when we go out now. The female species find me irresistable. They want to shower me with gifts, they swoon, they want to kiss me, they want me to sire their children and quite often they just simply want to get close enough to sniff "eau de Jude". Quite frankly I am sick of it, I just want to hang out with the boys, have a nice quiet ribena and watch the Wiggles.

I have been a very good boy recently. I have found where mummy keeps the tissues so I help her out by grabbing a couple, spitting on them and rubbing dirty surfaces. I do this to keep away the germs. They seem to lurk everywhere. Mum always points out where they are when I go to touch certain things. For example, did you know the toilet has germs, the rubbish bin has germs, girls have germs, Arnold Schwarzenegger has germs and Mr Winky has germs?

Tomorrow I have a busy day planned. I am going to rid the world of "funny" people.

Bye
J.E.T

King of the Dwarves

I noticed that Mummy said that Daddy will probably post a stupid blog. Well I am insulted by this so called mother of mine. It is I who place the good posts on this blog, not some half wit ghost writer answering to the name of Dad. I mean what sort of imbecile has a one syllable name (and before you ask my name is pronounced Jew - Dae, two syllables).

Anyway now onto more serious matters. Many of you would not know this but I am in fact Jude - King of the Dwarves. This photo proves it. Every morning I get a special telecast of my minions sent into me so that I can overview their daily activities. This picture gives you an understanding of my life. I get up and view what the crazy little buggers have been up to. Most days it is normal dwarvish behaviour - being shot from cannons, tossed by Eastern European women and being used as weird footstools. There is only the odd occasion when I have to weild my power due to poor behaviour. I will not stand for dwarves carrying hammers or chasing cars that is just not on.

I have to get off here now as Daddy wants to play games. A small update on my life.... I have successfully grown a rash, no mean feat I tell you. I bet you can't, but that is just because you suck and I rule..... the dwarves.

By all and long live the little people.

J.E.T

Do you like my pozzie?

Here is Jude getting as close as he is allowed to the TV and the heater. No doubt his balloon would have "found" its way between the two forbidden items and so Jude would have just been reclaiming it... yeah right. He also dies his hair ginger for the ladies.

Jude has had tonsillitis for the last week and has been on antibiotics which have resulted in a nasty rash on his upper carcass. The poor little boy is probably teething as well, so was possibly in a fair amount of discomfort. Luckily he is on the mend now and gets to go to daycare again tomorrow for "The Big Play-Time".

Jude has been working hard for the last 14 months and was just able to save enough money for a card featuring an orangutan (why I ask you why?) and a box of Roses chocolates for Mothers Day. He brought them in to Mummy's bedroom himself but refused to hand over the goods.

Jude visited with his Nana & Poppa Dromgool in the weekend and although it was Mummy's birthday, he still managed to steal her thunder and score himself a few pressies. He received some buzzy bee gumboots (perfect for stomping around outside), a beautiful knitted jumper and some other clothing items and a penguin finger puppet.


Uncle Jeremy & Aunty Debs sent Mummy a Little Britain birthday card that "talks". Here is a photo of Jude enjoying the aforementioned card. He will sit there for ages opening and closing it - all Mummy hears is "yeah but no, but yeah but no". He thinks it's wonderful (and Mummy thought it was pretty funny too).

Well that's all for now. No doubt Daddy will be along soon to put some more ridiculous clap-trap on Jude's blog. Please forgive him in advance.

You make me feel like dancin'...

...gonna dance the night away.

Boy that kid sure can trot out some garbage. Can't even talk yet but can type the hind leg off a donkey.

Here is Jude dancing with Great-Nana Baron in the background just enjoying the show. Jude has just learned how to "krump". It's all the rage in the US and I must admit he's pretty good at it. He gets that little booty shakin'!!!

I love Stools

I love my Mummy a lot. I love her because she bought me this table and stool set. As you can see from it's chic lines and kitsch paint work, it is the top of the range K3000 table and stool set. This baby has all the bells and whistles. Daddy doesn't buy me much as he is tighter than a snapper's ....... Daddy just told me that I can't use that word. He is an ..... Daddy just told me that I am not allowed to use that word again.

This table is such fun. I can sit here and draw pictures, play with play doh and just think about how great life is. Like everything though there is a dark side to this deluxe table and stool set. As the hunkahunka burning lurve Margaret Perrin once said "I don't like dark-sided things". From time to time the stool turns on me and the following happens:-

At these times it turns from a wonderful piece of engineering into something spawned from Satan's ......... Daddy reminded me that I am not allowed to say that word again. I had to put $1 in the swear-jar.

Today Mum and Dad took me to see some animals at Butterfly Creek. It was pretty cool. I patted some rabbits, saw some ducks, an alpaca, some Kunekune pigs and some guinea pigs.

I bid you adieu again.

Jude

I like to point

Lets get to the point..... I like to point.

The correct technique for getting the perfect point is shown above. It has taken me several months to get this right but the technique is as follows.... you must raise the thumb, straighten the index finger and make a loose fist with the remaining three fingers. At the same time you have to make a crazy exclaimation such as "aaaahhhhiiiiiaaaaa".
Now you try it.

Nana Thomas you don't quite have it right. Extend the thumb (think about how Hamish Carter would do it)...... there we go, perfect.
Nana Dromgool you are close but you are using the right hand, try again. You are still using the right hand. That's better - pointing is best done with the left hand only.
Great-Poppa Baron you are my idol but really that is a pretty poor attempt. The exclaimation has to be "aaaahhhhiiiiiaaaaa" not "piffle, piffle, piffle".
Uncle Jeremy, let's not even try, you will probably break something!!

Onto another subject now. I have given up crawling, I think that it is a complete waste of my time and energy. My main mode of transport is now something commonly known as "the walk". It is a very efficient and a quick way to get around. I use it to catch the cat unawares, creep up on Mummy and Daddy, fetch the mail in the mornings and mine coal from the tunnel in the back yard.

I am enjoying my daycare on Wednesdays. They feed me lots of food and I get a break from the olds. They can be so overbearing sometimes - don't touch this, stay away from that. Who do they think they are? it's not like I ever asked to be born.

Enough from me, I am going to bed.

JET

Two TV Addicts

Here's Jude and his friend Cameron watching The Muppet Show.

Jude's walking has been really good today - he has pretty much tottered around on his pins all day and is getting steadier and steadier.

He has had a cold every week since starting daycare and now Mummy has caught it too - the joys of public childcare I guess.

Anyway, not much else to report - Jude has been drawing pictures with his new crayons and fell over holding his sippy cup yesterday and cut his eyelid with his fingernail and it's a bit puffy and bruised-looking. I should have taken him to the Ascot Hospital just up the road and maybe we would have seen Keith Richards...