Judanaphobia

Have you heard of Judanaphobia?

The Oxford dictionary lists it as such:

Judanaphobia (n), (jude-a-na-fo-bee-a) - The extreme fear that somewhere somehow a Jude is watching you.

Thats right I am watching all of you. You have nowhere to hide as I am omnipresent (for you lower order idiots out there, yes you Uncle Jason, that means I see everything).

Nana Robby stop staring at that picture of Hamish Carter.

Nana Vic stop staring at that picture of me.

Uncle Jason stop playing with it, I have read that if you play with it too often then it falls off. You don't want to be left with one nut and nothing else below do you?

Uncle Jeremy put down that beer as it is making Aunty Deb froth at the mouth.

Asher just stop.

The rest of you get off your lazy butts and start making me something. To help you in your decision making of what to build me you have the choice of:

a) A train

or

b) A boat

Hop to it (please do not make idols of me as you will be struck down).

Jude The mighty

Let me at 'im

This is a nice family shot isn't it. Just me, Dad and.......him. I like him and then I hate him, I like him and then I hate him and so on.

The problem I have is that Mum and Dad have worked out my cunning plan on how to get to him. I come up and kiss him and pat him and nestle into him and then I unleash the rage. However mum and dad have worked out my attack strategy and move me away before the grande finale of my attack.

I do mostly like him. I mimic the noises he makes, I have heard bird watchers do this. Apparently it lures your unsuspecting prey in. This has not yet worked but I am sure it will.

Enough about him, more about me. I played with Cameron the other day. We sat in the sandpit and threw sand all over each other it was a veritable sand fest.

I have also been learnng to control my so called "Thomas Rage". If that little bugger would only stay on his tracks like a good engine then he would not have to be punished!!! If you see a blue streak flying past your face then you know Thomas has not been playing by the rules and has been taught a lesson he will never forget. Thomas is of course blue....... so is Percy...... so is Toby and so is Poppas silver car.

I have noticed the dreadful lack of pronunciation in this world so here is a lesson for you all:

Strawberry - Correct pronounciation....... Boycey

Chocolate - Correct pronounciation ........ Cockolate

Thomas - Correct pronounciation ....... Toot toot

Shark - Correct pronounciation ....... Bruce Shark

Get it right or else.

Bye

JET

Writings on new arrivals and world peace

Well he finally came. I have waited patiently for 9 months and yesterday he arrived home. He is actually quite cool, I just want to eat him!!! Mum did a pretty good job cooking him in her tummy. He looks kind of like me which is excellent as I was scared that he would look like Stephen Hawking. I have decided that I will teach him lots of things. I will start with the most enjoyable aspects of life and teach them in order of most enjoyable downwards:

1) How to beat up Shrek
2) The joys of watching sharks
3) How to do a big satisfying poo in the bath before the olds can get me out

World peace is dumb, but I like doves.

J.E.T

The Stork is arriving 1 week early

I am in shock - I have just been told that my little brother is arriving a week early - TOMORROW, 11th January 2007!!!

Mummy & Daddy have to leave very early tomorrow morning to go to the Hospital and I guess the Stork will be going there to give them my brother.

I am going to hang out with Nana & Poppa D for the day and then go and meet him in the afternoon.

I better get myself ready to meet him... does my hair look OK like this? Is my face clean?