Ground Control to Major Tom

Gidday my groupies,

Here is a picture of me designing a new mask for trips into outer space. I was asked to do this by Mr Richard Branson esq. He is a man that I have a great deal of respect for as he has flown in a balloon.

Anyway dad wouldn't buy me all of the equipment that I require so what you see in the picture has been fashioned from a burger rings bag, 6 match sticks, saliva from mongi's tongue and mum's sock. The parental units were amazed at what I did although dad did put a bit of a damper on it all when he suggested that I could just use the tupperware bowl from the cupboard. Well fudge him, doesn't he know that tupperware is affected by minute solar particles that are especially prevelant near Alpha Centuri.

I have been having lots of fun recently. The idea of walking has been a real winner. I love going out to malls now as I can get out of my stroller and chase pretty ladies. I am very good in stores and don't touch anything that I am not allowed to. My favourite store is Whitcoulls at Botany Downs shopping centre. They have got a little play area especially designed for me.

I have also included the following picture to prove that I do not have ginger hair.

As you can all tell, my hair is a fine blonde. The blonde hair of an angel...... at times a misguided angel but an angel none the less. I reckon I look like James Dean here.

The one thing that I long for in this world is a little brother or sister............

J.E.T

I am a dream boat

Hello everybody,

Here I am on a cold winter's day dressed in colour co-ordinated leiderhosen from Gucci kids wear. As you can see I am an absolute dream boat. I am facing some fairly serious issues when we go out now. The female species find me irresistable. They want to shower me with gifts, they swoon, they want to kiss me, they want me to sire their children and quite often they just simply want to get close enough to sniff "eau de Jude". Quite frankly I am sick of it, I just want to hang out with the boys, have a nice quiet ribena and watch the Wiggles.

I have been a very good boy recently. I have found where mummy keeps the tissues so I help her out by grabbing a couple, spitting on them and rubbing dirty surfaces. I do this to keep away the germs. They seem to lurk everywhere. Mum always points out where they are when I go to touch certain things. For example, did you know the toilet has germs, the rubbish bin has germs, girls have germs, Arnold Schwarzenegger has germs and Mr Winky has germs?

Tomorrow I have a busy day planned. I am going to rid the world of "funny" people.

Bye
J.E.T

King of the Dwarves

I noticed that Mummy said that Daddy will probably post a stupid blog. Well I am insulted by this so called mother of mine. It is I who place the good posts on this blog, not some half wit ghost writer answering to the name of Dad. I mean what sort of imbecile has a one syllable name (and before you ask my name is pronounced Jew - Dae, two syllables).

Anyway now onto more serious matters. Many of you would not know this but I am in fact Jude - King of the Dwarves. This photo proves it. Every morning I get a special telecast of my minions sent into me so that I can overview their daily activities. This picture gives you an understanding of my life. I get up and view what the crazy little buggers have been up to. Most days it is normal dwarvish behaviour - being shot from cannons, tossed by Eastern European women and being used as weird footstools. There is only the odd occasion when I have to weild my power due to poor behaviour. I will not stand for dwarves carrying hammers or chasing cars that is just not on.

I have to get off here now as Daddy wants to play games. A small update on my life.... I have successfully grown a rash, no mean feat I tell you. I bet you can't, but that is just because you suck and I rule..... the dwarves.

By all and long live the little people.

J.E.T

Do you like my pozzie?

Here is Jude getting as close as he is allowed to the TV and the heater. No doubt his balloon would have "found" its way between the two forbidden items and so Jude would have just been reclaiming it... yeah right. He also dies his hair ginger for the ladies.

Jude has had tonsillitis for the last week and has been on antibiotics which have resulted in a nasty rash on his upper carcass. The poor little boy is probably teething as well, so was possibly in a fair amount of discomfort. Luckily he is on the mend now and gets to go to daycare again tomorrow for "The Big Play-Time".

Jude has been working hard for the last 14 months and was just able to save enough money for a card featuring an orangutan (why I ask you why?) and a box of Roses chocolates for Mothers Day. He brought them in to Mummy's bedroom himself but refused to hand over the goods.

Jude visited with his Nana & Poppa Dromgool in the weekend and although it was Mummy's birthday, he still managed to steal her thunder and score himself a few pressies. He received some buzzy bee gumboots (perfect for stomping around outside), a beautiful knitted jumper and some other clothing items and a penguin finger puppet.


Uncle Jeremy & Aunty Debs sent Mummy a Little Britain birthday card that "talks". Here is a photo of Jude enjoying the aforementioned card. He will sit there for ages opening and closing it - all Mummy hears is "yeah but no, but yeah but no". He thinks it's wonderful (and Mummy thought it was pretty funny too).

Well that's all for now. No doubt Daddy will be along soon to put some more ridiculous clap-trap on Jude's blog. Please forgive him in advance.

You make me feel like dancin'...

...gonna dance the night away.

Boy that kid sure can trot out some garbage. Can't even talk yet but can type the hind leg off a donkey.

Here is Jude dancing with Great-Nana Baron in the background just enjoying the show. Jude has just learned how to "krump". It's all the rage in the US and I must admit he's pretty good at it. He gets that little booty shakin'!!!

I love Stools

I love my Mummy a lot. I love her because she bought me this table and stool set. As you can see from it's chic lines and kitsch paint work, it is the top of the range K3000 table and stool set. This baby has all the bells and whistles. Daddy doesn't buy me much as he is tighter than a snapper's ....... Daddy just told me that I can't use that word. He is an ..... Daddy just told me that I am not allowed to use that word again.

This table is such fun. I can sit here and draw pictures, play with play doh and just think about how great life is. Like everything though there is a dark side to this deluxe table and stool set. As the hunkahunka burning lurve Margaret Perrin once said "I don't like dark-sided things". From time to time the stool turns on me and the following happens:-

At these times it turns from a wonderful piece of engineering into something spawned from Satan's ......... Daddy reminded me that I am not allowed to say that word again. I had to put $1 in the swear-jar.

Today Mum and Dad took me to see some animals at Butterfly Creek. It was pretty cool. I patted some rabbits, saw some ducks, an alpaca, some Kunekune pigs and some guinea pigs.

I bid you adieu again.

Jude

I like to point

Lets get to the point..... I like to point.

The correct technique for getting the perfect point is shown above. It has taken me several months to get this right but the technique is as follows.... you must raise the thumb, straighten the index finger and make a loose fist with the remaining three fingers. At the same time you have to make a crazy exclaimation such as "aaaahhhhiiiiiaaaaa".
Now you try it.

Nana Thomas you don't quite have it right. Extend the thumb (think about how Hamish Carter would do it)...... there we go, perfect.
Nana Dromgool you are close but you are using the right hand, try again. You are still using the right hand. That's better - pointing is best done with the left hand only.
Great-Poppa Baron you are my idol but really that is a pretty poor attempt. The exclaimation has to be "aaaahhhhiiiiiaaaaa" not "piffle, piffle, piffle".
Uncle Jeremy, let's not even try, you will probably break something!!

Onto another subject now. I have given up crawling, I think that it is a complete waste of my time and energy. My main mode of transport is now something commonly known as "the walk". It is a very efficient and a quick way to get around. I use it to catch the cat unawares, creep up on Mummy and Daddy, fetch the mail in the mornings and mine coal from the tunnel in the back yard.

I am enjoying my daycare on Wednesdays. They feed me lots of food and I get a break from the olds. They can be so overbearing sometimes - don't touch this, stay away from that. Who do they think they are? it's not like I ever asked to be born.

Enough from me, I am going to bed.

JET