TTTEA

That's right folks - I need help in the form of rehab... Thomas The Tank Engines Anonymous (TTTEA) in actual fact.

I am obsessed with Thomas - I must be playing with Thomas duplo while watching Thomas DVDs while reading Thomas books.

I know the names of all the engines and can be heard having conversations with my (imaginary) Toot Toot friends in the middle of the night.

Please donate your gold coins to this worthy cause.

The Welsh Dragon

Fly my pretties.

The Order of the Dracul... the Dragon. An ancient society - pledging my forefathers to defend the faith against all enemies of Thomas.

This is no laughing matter! We Draculs have a right to be proud!

I am the last of my kind.

Feel the wind beneath my wings as I rain fire and brimstone down upon thee. Jude the dragon is about.

See you soon mere mortals.

As I live and breathe - it's Jaws!!!

Happy Birthday to me!! I am now 2 years old and don't I look just the cutest in my new shark suit? Dad didn't want me to have it but even he couldn't resist smiling (or smirking) when he saw me in my costume.

Here's a photo of my "toot toot" cake - Mum's quite proud of herself for making it from scratch, so I thought I'd better put a photo on here - it even tasted quite nice. Thanks Mum.


I had a great birthday party - I had heaps of guests and they all brought me wonderful pressies - I got:-

Dragon's tail that roars
Shark suit
Trike
Books
Clothes
Gumboots
Shoes
Giant Truck (to put "Rabbie" in)
Bob the Builder toolbelt
Money

So I've been very lucky.

My Nana & Poppa D took me to see Thomas in the flesh today out at Glenbrook. I went for a ride on a train and had lots of sugar. I drank a "fluffy" like a grown up from a cup and saucer.

So thanks to everyone for attending my Birthday - see you next year!!

Judabil Lecter

A census taker tried to test me once - I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti (slurp!).

If you don't get me a good present you will be next.

CYFS

Please don't report Mum and Dad to CYFS, I like the taste and apparently if I am taken off them I will be given to responsible parents who won't let me near the Amber Juice.

There is nothing quite like a nice cold one on a hot day after chasing evil babies.

The Jude

Hern the Hunter

I couldn't resist putting this photo on here as I think it's hilarious. I am still laughing as I type.

Jude (or Hern if you prefer) is being conned into having vegies again via the smoothie.

To counter-act the goodness of the vegies - Jude went to Burger King the other day, ate a whole cheeseburger and scored these cool antlers. He also found someone's smelly old socks in the play area.

Bye for now.

Don't mess with the man

Don't mess with the cool guy - I will bust a cap in your A if you go around 'dissing me. Whaddup dog?


I've been hunting cong all day, but the little buggers keep hiding in their paddys.


My first lieutenant and I are sitting at our post and examining the terrain for any little noodle eaters. I've given up on my b though as she is blind and wouldn't be able to spot a gook from 40 yards.

I will just consult my CCTV.

Sleep well - Jude is on the job.

Jude out.

What a Smoothie!!!

One way to get a kid to eat vegies is to disguise them in a delicious fruity smoothie.

The smoothie is then smeared across the mosh and cries of "more more" become commonplace... now if only Mummy could buy the frozen berries we'd be in business.

Judanaphobia

Have you heard of Judanaphobia?

The Oxford dictionary lists it as such:

Judanaphobia (n), (jude-a-na-fo-bee-a) - The extreme fear that somewhere somehow a Jude is watching you.

Thats right I am watching all of you. You have nowhere to hide as I am omnipresent (for you lower order idiots out there, yes you Uncle Jason, that means I see everything).

Nana Robby stop staring at that picture of Hamish Carter.

Nana Vic stop staring at that picture of me.

Uncle Jason stop playing with it, I have read that if you play with it too often then it falls off. You don't want to be left with one nut and nothing else below do you?

Uncle Jeremy put down that beer as it is making Aunty Deb froth at the mouth.

Asher just stop.

The rest of you get off your lazy butts and start making me something. To help you in your decision making of what to build me you have the choice of:

a) A train

or

b) A boat

Hop to it (please do not make idols of me as you will be struck down).

Jude The mighty

Let me at 'im

This is a nice family shot isn't it. Just me, Dad and.......him. I like him and then I hate him, I like him and then I hate him and so on.

The problem I have is that Mum and Dad have worked out my cunning plan on how to get to him. I come up and kiss him and pat him and nestle into him and then I unleash the rage. However mum and dad have worked out my attack strategy and move me away before the grande finale of my attack.

I do mostly like him. I mimic the noises he makes, I have heard bird watchers do this. Apparently it lures your unsuspecting prey in. This has not yet worked but I am sure it will.

Enough about him, more about me. I played with Cameron the other day. We sat in the sandpit and threw sand all over each other it was a veritable sand fest.

I have also been learnng to control my so called "Thomas Rage". If that little bugger would only stay on his tracks like a good engine then he would not have to be punished!!! If you see a blue streak flying past your face then you know Thomas has not been playing by the rules and has been taught a lesson he will never forget. Thomas is of course blue....... so is Percy...... so is Toby and so is Poppas silver car.

I have noticed the dreadful lack of pronunciation in this world so here is a lesson for you all:

Strawberry - Correct pronounciation....... Boycey

Chocolate - Correct pronounciation ........ Cockolate

Thomas - Correct pronounciation ....... Toot toot

Shark - Correct pronounciation ....... Bruce Shark

Get it right or else.

Bye

JET

Writings on new arrivals and world peace

Well he finally came. I have waited patiently for 9 months and yesterday he arrived home. He is actually quite cool, I just want to eat him!!! Mum did a pretty good job cooking him in her tummy. He looks kind of like me which is excellent as I was scared that he would look like Stephen Hawking. I have decided that I will teach him lots of things. I will start with the most enjoyable aspects of life and teach them in order of most enjoyable downwards:

1) How to beat up Shrek
2) The joys of watching sharks
3) How to do a big satisfying poo in the bath before the olds can get me out

World peace is dumb, but I like doves.

J.E.T

The Stork is arriving 1 week early

I am in shock - I have just been told that my little brother is arriving a week early - TOMORROW, 11th January 2007!!!

Mummy & Daddy have to leave very early tomorrow morning to go to the Hospital and I guess the Stork will be going there to give them my brother.

I am going to hang out with Nana & Poppa D for the day and then go and meet him in the afternoon.

I better get myself ready to meet him... does my hair look OK like this? Is my face clean?

Happy New Year to One & All

Daddy, Mummy & I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish you all a very Happy New Year where-ever you may be. May 2007 be a fantastic year for everyone.

I apologise for my father's facial expression in the photo - he looks a little sinister. I, however, have put on my most cherubic face and am saying "cheese" for the camera.

Unfortunately, there wasn't a decent photo of Mummy to put on here as she is now the size of a whale and likes to hide from the camera.

The Evil Eye

Enough said.

X-Mas Time

Well I was so good this year that Santa came 3 times to see me. Here is a small picture diary:-

Saturday 23rd. Mum's clan at our Gaff.

This is me with my first present. I didn't want to spoil the fun too much so I just peeked in the end. This was a Winne the Pooh bubble blower. Pretty cool but boy there was so much more to follow.

This is Nana Vic handing over a parcel which was so rightfully mine. This was a Thomas toy. I love it...... and then I hate it..... then I love it again ....... then I hate it.... at the moment I love it. This photo may make it look like Nana has long pendulous boozies, this isn't true, I have seen them, they make me laugh.

Here I am sitting amongst my many presents. I am reading Dad the gingerbread man (no Uncle Jason not the gingerhaired man). This was a present from Uncle Nick and Aunty Sarah. Nana Vic and Aunty Sarah think that this is an amusing story. I tell you what, it is not such an amusing end for Mr Gingerbread Man.

Sunday 24th, Dad's inventors arrived to hand over my possessions.

They bought me several presents. I can tell you that everything looks very happy in this picture however seconds later this turned into "when good balloons go bad". Dad and Pop Art had forgotten to tie off the bottom of their balloons and the evil buggers chased me around the room screaming at me and releasing Poppa's stinky breath into the air. Luckily I got a plastic boat to make up for the demon-possessed balloons.

Pop Art said that all he wanted for Christmas was to find his missing hair. We searched and searched but we couldn't find it anywhere. Pop said not to worry too much, he is trying to bring "the monk" hairstyle back into fashion anyway.

Monday 25th, X-mas with the olds.

I got some pretty cool things from Santa this morning. This is one of two sets of Thomas the Tank Engine Duplo. Mum said "more bloody Thomas". I was a bit scared that Thomas had been cut but I looked and Mum must have been wrong. Thank you Uncle Jeremy and Aunty Debs for your Duplo contribution and thank you to Santa for yours. Mum and Dad were too cheap to get me any.

Here I am in the piece de resistance from today. My castle tent. I run in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out, run in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out, run in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out, run in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out. I hope you get the point. I told everyone that it is cool.

So roughly this x-mas I got lots of Thomas, some clothes, some bath toys, some books, a cheque, a magna doodle, a portable new house and a pig. Thank you to everyone.

Was I happy about my haul or what?

You be the judge.

Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle all the Way!!

Greetings & Salutations Family & Fans,

I would like to take this opportunity to ask that you not 'dis (or "disrespect" if you will) MY big Christmas day this coming Saturday. You have all been cordially invited to a BBQ lunch at the Old's place and I wish to ensure that you are intending to bring me plenty of presents and toklat. I will have my hair done in a similar style to that in the photo above in honour of the big day.

I had a lovely holiday recently with my Nana Vic and Poppa Noel. They took me all manner of places such as The Lake, visiting old folk, into the big smoke to have lunch and watch Mummy's toe-talons being chiseled and polished etc.

Here are a couple of photos of my exploits with Nana Vic, Poppa Noel and Weyland the cat (I don't think she is actually enjoying my cuddles as can be seen from her claw clutching the side of the footstool - but what the hey...):-



Santa Claus is coming to visit me on Sunday night. We don't have a chimney for him to come down but Dad tells me that he will be able to come through the cat flap no worries. I am hoping Santa will bring me some boungas (balloons for those of you who aren't in the know).

Well, I may be a very busy baby in the next few days so in case I don't get to come back online and do another blog - I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New year (and so does Mummy & Daddy).

Byeeeeee
Jude Edwin Toot-Toot
(The soon to be big brother of the baby in Mummy's tummy)
xxx

Would you like some of my biscuit?

Well a big tooooot tooooot to all my fans out there.

How about that John Key eh, took me ole' buddy Don Brash's job. Well I say toot toot to you John, good on ya and I hope you do a Percy good job.

Did you all know that the other day Thomas had to take off to pick up a special package. Turned out it was a dragon but don't be scared it was only a paper dragon (I feel your anxiety but it really was only a paper dragon, I was a little frightened at first too).

I heard in the news last night that Rotorua was flooded. I blame Gordon and his grumpy ways. Apparently Nanna & Poppa Thomas are quite safe from the water so a big peep peep goes out to all the survivors in stinky town.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh no, oh no, oh no. It's raining outside.

I was out yesterday and saw Bertie the Bus. I shouted out to him but he just kept driving. Bye bus, bye bus.

Santa comes soon. Dad reckons that Santa is a fool just like Fat Uncle Jason. Well toot toot to you dad, I want my presents.

Adios clowns.

Jude the Express Thomas

We shall fight on the beaches.... & we will never surrender

One morning I woke up and there he was - big, green and invading my territory. I was faced with three decisions - attack, attack or attack. I therefore attacked!!

I have body slammed him, beaten him to a pulp, launched my hardiest toys at him and yet he still looks back at me with that goofy smile. If you look closely in this picture, that flash of green near his shoulder is my tractor. A solid piece of machinery. It got him right in the kisser yet he still gazes back at me with a seedy look on his face.

Enough about Shrek and more about me. Dad took me to several playgrounds on the weekend. I have discovered that it is much more fun to go down a slide head first than on my bum. The feeling of plastic on bare stomach is quite exhilarating I assure you.

In other news, I now have nothing left in my room apart from my set of drawers and my bed. Apparently it is unacceptable to kick the crap out of my book case until the backing board comes off (Mum's words not mine). What else is there to do to keep me awake? all my toys have been locked away (although I have hidden some down the side of the bed that I get out when the olds aren't looking), I can only sing and dance for so long and they even took my rug away after I beat it up one night. Talk about Colditz.

Big news flash: My brother is apparently arriving 18th January. I am not too sure about this - I wasn't consulted and this is meant to be a democracy. If he steals my stuff I am going to vote him off the island - Jeff the tribe has spoken.

Jude out.

I should be so fluffy... fluffy fluffy fluffy

I am obsessed with Sharks. It's official. As you can see from the photo I am looking at a book on sharks - what you don't know is that Mum had to say "Where's Bruce?" to get me to look at the camera (for those of you who aren't obsessed with sharks like me - Bruce is the shark in Finding Nemo).

Anyway, you can also see from the photo that I have very fluffy hair. Nana Vic thinks that my hair is ridiculous and I could use a haircut. I wonder how she expects me to sit still for long enough to have this carried out and also whether any self-respecting hairdresser would even agree to take on this coif. One of the good things about this photo is that you (Uncle Jason) can clearly see that my hair is blonde. Not a speck of ginga-ness to be seen.

I am warming up to my buddy Shrek every day. He is 1.2 metres tall and wider than Mummy (which takes quite a bit of doing I might say!) - he was in my room for a bit today but I refused to set foot inside it until Mum took him out again. Now I go and visit him in my little brother's room and peek around the corner to wave at him.

I am also obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine (ever so less slightly than with sharks). I refer to him as "toot toot". I dance feverishly to the theme tune and get very excited when I see any sort of train.

The olds took me to Lollipops yesterday because I have been such a good boy and been sleeping in my bed without the 3 hour theatrics beforehand. Tonight I was asleep by 6.15pm (don't know how I'm typing this if I'm supposed to be asleep!!??). My parents will be so proud of me and will give me chocolate.

Toot-a-loo for now
Jude

Moon Hopper

I said that I wanted a moon hopper and all I got in return was "If you are a good boy this and if you are a nice boy this and a whole heap of crap about Santa.

Well damn you all I say I have made my own moon hopper and if you look closely it is my procured black balloon. They said it couldn't be done but I know better than everyone and the proof is in the picture.

They keep telling me it will pop but I know it won't because it is my special toy and it will never leave me.

In other news, the olds have put a lock on the pantry. I knew that I shouldn't have let them know that I could reach the "special" shelf but my chocolate addiction got the better of me. I guess they had no choice after mum came in and saw me taking big bites from her special chocolate.

Shrek has also come to see me. I am pretending to be scared by him. Secretly I love the thrill of peeking at the big green Oaf. Just today I ran around the corner into my brothers room and bam there he was standing right in front of me. Stopped me in my tracks that did. He has also appeared unannounced in the lounge and under the stairs. The olds should really do something about vermin like him.

Jude