When you go down to the woods today....

... you're in for a sure surprise.

During my last week at big plau plau I got to take home Jack Bear and look after him. I wasn't too keen to share my bed with him but he just crept on in anyway.

I got a bit sick of him being around after a few days and gave him back.

Can I do the same with that brother of mine? He does cruel stuff to me like touching my trains and taking my DVDs. I am powerless as I can not harm him with punches, pushes or name calling, he just keeps coming back. 

I am off to bed now, hopefully Jack Bear hasn't come back, he leaves fur in my bed.

Drunk driving

I had a few pints and tried to drive home. I was cruising along on my specially made booze bus and all of a sudden I ran out of road.  I was caste and all I really wanted was another drink but some bastion of society (aka Asher) dobbed me in. 

Out came the cops with their little flashy camera and photographed the evidence. They also asked me to blow into a little bag. "Fudge you" I said, "blow into my little bag". 

I was locked up. I have a message for you all out there, please don't drink and drive you don't want to end up like me although I have no regrets, I am off to find another bottle of sugar enriched fluid.

As my mate Amy said "they tried to make me go to rehab I said no, no, no".

Jude "Scott Dixon" Thomas